Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

So. Tired.

Sorry for the gap between posts. My parents and Aunt have been here for 10 days. They left this morning. I wasn't really allowed to do more than make the occasional dinner, but having so many people and so much going on is still exhausting. Well, that and the fact that I am just freaking dead-ass tired all the damn time.

The twin thing is slowly sinking in. I'm not sure I'm allowing myself to spend too much time thinking about it, I'm still very scared that it will all be a dream or that it will all go sideways with each ultrasound or blood test. So far, the blood tests since Thursday have gone well. I have another ultrasound tomorrow. Hopefully everything will be as it should and include appropriate heartbeats, etc.

I'm a few days past 6 weeks at this point. I started the Lovenox last weekend. I'll be on it until the end. Lemme tell you, that shit hurts like a bad bee sting going in. My ass is sore from the PIO, but that Lovenox hurts more at first. They have begun slowly weaning me off of the other LP support drugs. Still several weeks to go though before that is over.

We saw our new OB for the first time on Monday. My RE made a few phone calls and stirred up enough shit at the local hospital that I got a call on Sunday from the Department Chair at the local hospital. We discussed my history and he said he'd call me Monday with a suggestion for who I should see.

(Funny story: he asked if I had any preferance as to a male or female doctor. I think he was shocked when I simply responded that I wanted to see whomever was going to get my babies home alive)

Viola, Monday at 1:00 he calls with a phone number, I call and they say they were expecting me and could I come in at 3:00. So, I walk in and they all clearly know my history and are as friendly as possible while whispering that I was the one who had caused some hubub... Nice.

So, whatever, the doctor and PA were very nice. I'm happy with where we ended up. It's a large practice and that will be very difficult to get used to. We'll make do.

So, blood Monday was good. I'm convinced something is wrong until tomorrow when an ultrasound may or may not prove otherwise. All of that despite the fact that I have no reason whatsoever to believe there is anything wrong. It's just so weird to be here that I'm certain something will come along to destroy it all.

I have to run. I need a nap.

Thank you all so much for all of your kind comments and well-wishes. I'm humbled.

2 Comments:

  • At 11:08 AM , Blogger Kenna said...

    I'll tell you what's wrong, just to put your mind at ease (haha). There's not two at all. There's THREE. And when you come home tomorrow and go "OMG K you were right", I'll remind you that all 3 are boys. ;)

    Glad Dr BM got things taken care of and you have an OB!! And I'm anxiously looking forward to your u/s results tomorrow (yes yes, I'm just kidding about them finding #3... mostly) because I KNOW they will be good.

    Sending many many (((HUGS))) to get you through to tomorrow!!

     
  • At 6:11 PM , Blogger TwoGoosMom said...

    OMG....Is Kenna counting that other little black spot? I saw it too! Seriously though, we have different histories, I know, but I used to expect everything to have disappeared at each ultrasound too. At my 8 week, I finally just broke down and sobbed. It seemed too good to be true, so I understand that hesitation to feel.....well, I guess just to feel anything.

    I personally think it is common with loss and IF. I had a good friend e-mail me an update on her pregnancy (4+ years in the making) and she said that her first words at the ultrasound at 10 weeks were, " You mean it's still there?" She just knew it was gone.

    Hang in there. Sleep was an amazing cure for me. Of course I did not have a toddler, but any time you feel ill, if you can sleep...take advantage.

    Still so happy for you!!

    Elizabeth S (TLOL) Cannot seem to get logged in under my Google account, so my old blog name was Two Goos!

     

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