Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Friday, December 02, 2005

How Long is This Going to Take?

My other prenancies miscarried without the benefit of my knowing they were destined for it. So what should I expect? It's been a couple of days that we've known the numbers have dropped. I assume they'll drop pretty quickly. How long do I have to wait for this to happen?

I thought about getting some black cohosh to help it along, but what if I were to go in for my blood work on Sunday and everything is okay. Is that even possible? Could all of this really be a mistake? Is that possible? I mean, if that were possible wouldn't the doctor have told me it was and not just warned me about what was going to happen?

I had another galss of wine last night. I feel guilty because my head hasn't really wrapped around the fact that this baby is really already gone.

How could someone be gone when I never really had the chance to know they were there?


  • At 10:40 AM , Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

    I don't know what to tell you. I suppose there could be a mistake. It's too soon to see a heartbeat.

    I'd say not knowing is the worst, but unfortunately you're not going to know until (a) another beta or (b) you start to bleed.

    Did you say you're getting work done SUNDAY?

  • At 10:40 AM , Blogger cat said...

    Assvice: Black Cohosh can be dangerous if not taken in the right amounts. If you decide to take it be sure to get the right ratio form an herbalist, unless of course you are one.

    These things are never easy no matter how many blessings we do have in life. It's ok to mourn. My deepest sympathies are with you may you find some peace in the storm.

  • At 1:53 PM , Blogger Jill said...

    The waiting can really screw you up. It is very, very difficult and the uncertainty is cruel. I hope you get some definite resolution soon ((hugs))

  • At 3:34 PM , Blogger Catherine said...

    I wish I had some words of wisdom. I struggled with the same question when Alex died. I mean, he was a much did I really know about HIM? It felt like maybe part of it was mourning the IDEA of him. I just don't know.

  • At 8:34 PM , Blogger formerteacher said...

    I went through the same thing. My betas kept rising, but were not even close to doubling. The RE told me I would m/c. It took three weeks, but when the numbers began dropping, it happened soon after, like days I believe. It really messed me up emotionally. I wish I hadn't known I was going to m/c before it happened. Doesn't infertility suck!
    I am so sorry you have to go through all of this after all that you ahve already been through. I wish I could tell you WHY this is happening; that's all I ever wanted to know. Life isn't fair, is it?! Oh, I also m/c 2 weeks before CHristmas. I think m/c at this time of the year is even harder. You're in my thoughts. I am truly sorry for your loss; cliche' I know.

  • At 11:14 AM , Anonymous rach said...

    how are you doing dear?


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