Numb
I wish we hadn't been so fucking stupid as to tell so many damn people already. The holidays suck ass. All this happy shit everywhere.
I need the bleeding to start so I can feel like this is really happening. Right now I'm still having dillusions that it could still be a hideous mistake. Get on with it already.
I don't really know what I feel right now. Mostly pissed off with occasional touches of hurt and pain. You guys have all been so sweet. Thanks for your entries and well wishes.
I'm trying to remember to be grateful for what I do have and not be so pissed about what keeps getting taken from me. It's a really hard thing to do. I think I'm not doing a very good job of it right now. In fact, I'd venture to guess that I'm not doing anything well right now. I'm not being a good wife, mother or employee if the truth were told.
Fucking hell.
I need the bleeding to start so I can feel like this is really happening. Right now I'm still having dillusions that it could still be a hideous mistake. Get on with it already.
I don't really know what I feel right now. Mostly pissed off with occasional touches of hurt and pain. You guys have all been so sweet. Thanks for your entries and well wishes.
I'm trying to remember to be grateful for what I do have and not be so pissed about what keeps getting taken from me. It's a really hard thing to do. I think I'm not doing a very good job of it right now. In fact, I'd venture to guess that I'm not doing anything well right now. I'm not being a good wife, mother or employee if the truth were told.
Fucking hell.
posted by MB @ 10:57 AM
9 Comments:
At 12:17 PM ,
lorem ipsum said...
Michelle, you are entitled to be angry, frustrated or to feel like you are rightfully ungrateful. A horrible thing has happened to you on the heels of another horrible thing.
I hope the awful things end soon.
At 12:59 PM ,
Jillian said...
Cut yourself some slack - we would all hate you if you were perfect all the time;) A bad thing is happening to you so allow the anger and hurt to come. Tend to your wounds then worry about your family. Your husband can look after himself and Gracie for a few days while you get yourself on a more even keel. You don't HAVE to 'soldier on' ok?
(((hugs)))
At 1:25 PM ,
Julie said...
You have every right to be pissed off. Michelle, you don't deserve this at all. Give yourself some time. You dont have to be Supermom/ wife right now. You are in my thoughts. ((((((((hugs)))))))
At 1:36 PM ,
Anonymous said...
I really want to call you, but I don't know if it's appropriate or if you are ready to talk. I just want to cry with you and scream with you and tell you how unfair this all is.
You are on my heart, sweetie and I am always here for you.
At 2:33 PM ,
KB said...
You know it's okay to take time for yourself, right? It's okay to be angry - with everyone and everything.
Wish I could do something to help you through this. It sucks.
Wanna come to OK?
At 4:31 PM ,
Anonymous said...
You shouldn't be anything right now, for a while, but as good to yourself as you can. This totally sucks. I wish that I could make it better. I wish that I had some explanation or some help. I wish....
At 7:33 PM ,
msfitzita said...
Oh God. I'm so sorry. I will never, ever understand why it's so hard for some of us, but I'll pray that it gets easier for you very, very, very soon. A million ((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))
At 4:47 AM ,
Lisa P. said...
Michelle, I came over from Catherine's blog. I'd never come over to your site more than once or twice for some reason, and I don't know why.
But I wanted to say how sorry I am that this is happening.
At 6:30 PM ,
Roxanne said...
I'm so sorry. :( I was so happy for you. It's so not fair.
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