Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

I'm the bitch

I went to lunch with a co-worker yesterday and as we left and got in the car, a man who was eating at a table outside asked me to look in the car beside me and see if there was a kid in it. At first it didn't register, of course there was no kid in it, who does that? So, I look inside, sure enough there's a kid in a car seat maybe not quite two. **Edited to add that the windows were cracked, but I don't know if the car was locked, car was not running**

That's when the smoke started coming out of my ears.

Here's some background. It gets hot in Vegas. Like hell hot. Now, at this moment, it was only about 80 degrees. Not unbearable and certainly fine to be in the car with no air. BUT, every year the news people and the police do major stories and PSA's about never, ever leaving your kid alone in the car. In fact, they urge anyone who sees it to call the police immediately. We not only have issues with the heat, but we have issues with cars getting stolen (one of the highest theft rates in the country) and every year not only do kids die of heat stroke from getting left in cars, but they also end up in cars that are stolen and some of those kids don't make it back home. It's bad, and anyone with a brain knows better.

I know as kids, most of us were left in the car alone at some point, I know I was. But, people didn't use carseats and seatbelts then either. The point is that times are different and we all know better.

Back to my story.

So my co-worker sees that I am pissed as I march right back into the lunch place and yell from the door "Who left their kid in the car?" A woman in line, sheepishly says (certainly embarassed) "I did, but I'm watching her." I yell back, "You know it's not legal and beyond that it's stupid!" So, I'm pissed and I go back to my car and call 911.

I sit in the car talking with the 911 operator, who is clearly also mad, while she dispatches a car. I give her all the info including the plate number. I explain to her that I have a dead daughter and this is just really pissing me off, she agrees and I wait for the cops. The woman finally comes out and leaves as I'm telling the operator where she's going so a patrol car and find her.

At this point I'm on the verge of tears and shaking because I just can't deal with people who don't treat their children like the treasure they are. It just kills me. Oh and my co-worker, who is a 50 year old man with no children, thinks I'm about to lose it. I run a contruction company, there's no crying in contruction.

Within a few minutes a cop calls me back and asks for the story again and says that they are looking for her car and that they will call me if they need more info. I'm glad to see that they take this issue so seriously here. Like really glad.

So, I'm still pissed about the whole thing. The thing is that the woman is not necessarily a bad parent. We all make bad choices, she just made a really bad choice. I don't want her kid taken from her, I just want her to understand the severity of the choice she made. I hope they fine the shit out of her, send her to parenting classes and show her pictures of dead kids who were left in cars or murdered after they were kidnapped. I know that is awful, but the thing is that if she'll do it once, she'll do it again.

Maybe I made a big deal of something that I shouldn't have. Maybe it was overblown. But, the thing is that my kid was taken from me. I know what it's like to lose a child. It makes me physically ill to see people mistreat their kids. Children are such a gift. I wish everyone would treat them that way.


  • At 9:27 AM , Blogger kate said...

    Well, how was she 'watching her' if she was in the restaurant and the kid was outside, in a locked car with windows closed i assume?

    I would have been upset too, and i am glad you made a big deal out of it. You live in the freaking desert out there. That is TOO stupid a thing to do. I hope they fine the heck out of her too.

  • At 9:28 AM , Blogger kate said...

    Oh i just noticed you changed your blog's name! Good choice! When did that happen? I am so clueless sometimes...

  • At 10:22 AM , Blogger Diana said...

    I would have freaked out, too. I live in New England where it's 50 out here right now, but I still won't leave my son in the car. I'm glad you called the cops.
    Loving the new name. It fits well.

  • At 10:43 AM , Blogger Sarah said...

    I'm glad you made a "big deal" out of it! Yes, maybe today it wasn't a huge problem, but if the mom keeps pushing the boundries of what's ok eventually she may be too careless.

    I mean... It's illegal to not wear your seatbelt, but you can go a lifetime without ever having a car accident. It's illegal to leave your kid in the car... (at least where you are in the land of 110 degrees and lots of sun... not sure if it is everywhere) Period... there's no exception for when it's under 85 degrees or if you park in the shade. There is just to much risk to leave your kid in the car!

    Sorry you had to be the responsible one to act.

  • At 10:51 AM , Blogger Laura said...

    No, you did not make too big a deal of it! I'm glad that you called the cops and I'm glad that you embarassed that woman. I was in Vegas on my honeymoon last July--119 degrees. How would you know that she wouldn't do something stupid in that kind of heat?

    I'm new and have been catching up on your blog. I'm so, so sorry for the loss of your daughter.

  • At 11:14 AM , Blogger R said...

    You totally did the right thing. I am proud of you.

  • At 1:08 PM , Blogger msfitzita said...

    Oh God, you ABSOLUTELY did the right thing! From yelling at the moron to calling the cops. It was all brilliant. You might have saved that child's life - if not this time, then in the future. I'm sure she'll think twice about leaving her baby in a parked car.

    (((HUGS))) and thank you.

  • At 4:07 PM , Blogger Catherine said...

    I don't think you can ever make too big a deal out of caring about and trying to prevent the neglect of a child. And that's what it is...neglect. Good for you!

    I also love your new blog title. :o)

  • At 4:07 PM , Blogger formerteacher said...

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 4:08 PM , Blogger formerteacher said...

    Good for you!!!! You did the right thing, and I am personally in awe of the guts you showed. I just don't understand people. We, too, have children left in cars that either die, or a theft of the car has taken place. What idiots!

  • At 4:49 PM , Blogger Kathy McC said...

    It just makes me sick how stupid some people are. On the WAY HOME from the hospital after our accident on Sunday, I saw a car with a kid not buckled in. It just infuriates me. It's one thing to be stupid and put yourself in danger, but don't do it to a poor innocent child. You did the right thing.

  • At 7:34 PM , Blogger the ockers said...

    good on you! I'm proud. and I also love the new blog name. It has more promise and hope about it.

  • At 7:57 PM , Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

    Do you remember a few months ago when I thought I saw a girl being abducted from the grocery store, and the father came in to harass me? Still, I'd do it again. And you did the right thing. Don't let anyone ever tell you otherwise. (And kudos to your cops, too - the one here poo-poohed it.)

  • At 6:25 AM , Blogger Jill said...

    Well done - I live in a similar climate and the temp inside the car rises to 75 degrees celcius within 5 minutes. That's 167F. Damn right you did what needed to be done. I am inspired by your actions:)

  • At 10:22 PM , Blogger Brooke said...

    Just visiting from Tree's site . . . Pets or people -- doesn't matter which, they shouldn't be left in running cars or in hot (or cold) weather. I know there was at least one child where I live who died in a car in the last year because of the weather. Good for you for speaking up!


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