Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Where was I?

Oh, right. I suck. That's right.

So, I'm 15 weeks and a few days. This is really the part I hate most. I'm sick of feeling sick. I have gained about 10 pounds and I don't get the joy of feeling the baby move and it's too early to know boy or girl so Jim won't even discuss names yet.

Level II ultrasound is the 27th. So, I wait until then.

In the meantime, I ask myself how the hell am I going to manage this family. There are days now, with only Nat and Grace that I go to bed and feel like the world's worst mother. How many more of them will there be when I'm juggling a newborn?I'm seriously wondering WTF I was thinking way back when when I said "eh, one more would be cool." Could I have been more of an idiot?

I know, I know. I hear you alll yelling hatred at me for saying that because, yes, I know. I'm lucky. I'm grateful. We never thought this owuld happen after everythjing it took to get Natalie here. I am. But OMG...WTF am I going to do?





Here. Maybe this will make up for that last bit. Here, have this.




Nat on her first bike.

5 Comments:

  • At 12:44 PM , Blogger BabyDansMommy said...

    What a cute picture of Nat. Hope you're feeling better soon, and best of luck on your US on the 27th, will be thinking of you. Praying for you! Take care!
    Rhonda

     
  • At 5:25 AM , Blogger Heather said...

    I won't spew hatred at you for that comment. We worked for 8 years to have the twins after having our daughter. I told my husband that as I sat with the twins in the NICU watching them in their crib, I often thought to myself, "What did we just do?????"

    You'll do great! And great pic!!! She's adorable!

     
  • At 7:03 AM , Blogger Catherine said...

    You're going to keep doing what you're doing. Sure, it's messy...and it's amazingly beautiful. Take a deep breath. You'll be FINE.

     
  • At 7:59 AM , Blogger Mom of 3 and bride-to-be! said...

    It'll work out. Just take it one day at a time.
    I'm expecting #4. My oldest is 6 and my TWINS are 22 months. *GULP*
    ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!

     
  • At 7:57 PM , Blogger Midwest Mom said...

    Wow, I could have written that post! I have those SAME.EXACT.FEELINGS. alot! I think we should chalk it up to being pregnant and having other children who require assistance in all forms. Its really, really tough doing this prego thing and trying to pretend you feel "normal" when you SO DO NOT. I am almost 28 weeks and while I am not sick anymore, I am still so freakin tired and crabby, its ridiculous. I totally suck.
    Right there with ya,
    AmyW, TLOL

     

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