This just keeps getting better and better

I got a call at 3:00 yesterday that my numbers from Sunday had actually gone up. They asked if I could come to the office right away for and ultrasound. So, I pack up and run out of the office.

I spent the 40 minute drive imagining that a miracle did happen and maybe everything was really okay. I got to the office and waited an eternity for the doctor to come in. When he finally did, he read me the lab results. Beta last Tuesday was 240, Sunday it was 887. Not bad, right. Dr. BM proceeds to tell me that in 10 years he has had only ONE case where the numbers went down and then popped back up and the pregnancy ended well. Not fabulous odds.

We get out the dildo cam and find one sac that was already gone. It was filled with fluid and clots. Doc says there could possibly be a placenta there still producing hormones. He moves on to my tubes and finds another one in my right tube.

So, it seems I can't even just get a negative result or have a miscarriage like a normal person. I have to have a miscarriage AND an ectopic...Together. I feel so broken.

They gave me two injections of Methotrexate to induce miscarriage. Thankfully they caught the ectopic before it got too big and required surgery, or worse, removal of my tube. The doc said that the blasts can move into the tubes when the uterus contracts. A healthy tube would have just spit it back out where it belonged, but with the endo, he thinks there is scar tissue that got it stuck up there.

So, now we wait for the medicine to work. The funny thing is that my dh has psoriasis and at one point his doc wanted him to take the Methotrexate for it and we said no way. It can cause liver and kidney damage. I wish I had a choice.

Fucking hell this sucks. What's next now? I've had a sickenly normal history medically speaking for my whole life. I had my tonsils out, but that's about it. Then, I start having babies, one dies and I feel like everything has just exploded.

What the hell is wrong with me???