Good Memories

I was thinking this morning about the day that I found out Grace was on her way. Of course, if I had known then that I could possibly love or be more proud of anyone, I would have been a hundred times more excited than I was. Nevertheless, I was thrilled.

Jim and I weren't "officially" trying, but I hadn't been trying to stop it or anything for months. Jim had joked that if we got pregnant, I needed to let him know right away because the two seater we had at the time would have to go and the one he wanted would take nine months to arrive. Good timing, eh?

So, I was at work and I decided to go at lunch and get a test. Came back and got the faintest ever positive. I was completely freaked. I knew the rule about a positive being a positive, but I was still so unsure. I did was anyone else would do. I grabbed a co-worker and drug her into my office to look. She agreed it was positive and we did a little happy dance. So much for the husband being the first to know.

I sat at my desk trying to figure out how to tell Jim. I am no good at secrets and I have zero patience.

So, I sent him an e-mail. Sad. This is our exchange.

Me: How will it take to get the car?

Him: About 9 months, why?

Me: Better order it.

And then my phone rang.

And the rest is history.

And I want that again sooo badly. I screwed it up when we found out Audrey was coming. It was all wrong and I still feel horrible about it. I want another chance.

Please.