Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Blog Challenge June 27

Think about a time in your life where you experienced real fear. Not just scared for a moment and then you were ok. I'm talking about fear that was significant and lasted beyond a few seconds. Share your experience and how you reacted in your blog or on this post. Elaborate as much or as little as you wish.

On September 16, 2004, I was dropped off at the door of St. Rose hospital, 33 1/2 weeks pregnant and had to walk up to Labor and delivery alone. My mom needed to stay with Gracie because I didn't want her to come up and witness something going horribly wrong. Maybe my insistence that mom stay with Gracie and not come with me should have been a sign that I knew deep down something was wrong.

The period from when they started looking for her heartbeat with the ultra-sound machine in triage until the point that I was moved to the Fetal Monitoring room where the big machine confirmed my fears was the most horrifically scary point in my life.

It was the time when I was realizing my baby was dead and I was going to have to deal with the fall out. At that point in my life, losing a child was truly my worst fear. And I was about to live it.

8 Comments:

  • At 8:35 AM , Blogger KB said...

    (((HUGS)))

     
  • At 10:26 AM , Blogger Jen said...

    Thanks for sharing Michelle. (((HUGS)))

     
  • At 11:22 AM , Blogger Kathy McC said...

    (((hugs)))

     
  • At 3:12 PM , Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

    Terror in a hundred words or less. God. I don't know how anyone survived that, but you did.

    Where did you get that 'challenge'?

    love to you

     
  • At 1:11 PM , Blogger formerteacher said...

    Thanks for sharing, Michelle. I think my greatest fear is losing my child or my husband. I lost my mom, and the grief from that has been so awful. I can't even bear to think about losing one of my boys. My aunt and uncle lost their only child, and my aunt has been in a depression for over a decade. She can't go on. Her daughter was everything to her. I fear I'd do the same thing.

     
  • At 3:02 PM , Blogger Alli said...

    {{hugs}} Thinking of you.

     
  • At 5:51 PM , Blogger pithydithy said...

    That was so incredibly sad. I can't even imagine. I can start to feel hints of the pain and it is just too much to contemplate.

    And now, I feel like a total heel for this mundania after that entry, but can you send me an email? I can't find your email address and have a question for you. pithydithy@yahoo.com

     
  • At 4:35 PM , Blogger Kate said...

    My greatest fear was coming home to find my father dead. I was 16. It was 3:30 p.m., July 3, 1987. The rest of my family was not home, my brothers had already moved out and my mother was out of town. It was the worst and most defining moment in my entire life. That was the scariest moment of my life where I felt real fear. However, I can't imagine losing a child. Thoughts are with you.

     

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