The Very Hairy Who-Ha*

When I was a kid, I distinctly remember showering with my mother and swearing that I would never have a hairy who-ha like she did. I remember thinking how very unattractive and, well, jungle-y it looked. I have kept that promise and have always been good about keeping things down there trim. I don't do waxes or anything crazy, I just make sure things never get too wild.

As my middle has gotten bigger, it's gotten harder and harder to keep up with my trimming, so the other day I decided to give it what could be the last trim before this baby is born. I grabbed my scissors, hopped in the shower, and went for it.

Gracie came in the bathroom later and noticed the scissors in the shower. She asked why they were there. Crap. She knows what scissors are for. She knows I don't cut my own hair. What could I possibly tell her? I decide to be vague.

"I was trimming my hair" I say.

She replies, "Nuh-uh mommy, you were cutting all that hair on your hairy bum."

Oy.

Does this mean she sees things the way I did? I mean, does she see it as hairy as I did on my mom? I try so hard. Did my mom try too?

I can live with the fact that I have to wear a pantyliner everyday or I might sneeze and wet myself, but this? My daughter thinks I'm hairy? This I cannot abide.

I may have to suffer through a bikini wax if the middle gets so big that I can't take care of business.

* Wouldn't "The Very Hairy Who-Ha" make a great title for a children's book? Kind of like the one "Everyone Poops"? Hahahahaha, I crack myself up.