The ^%&^%*@ Neighbor... Again

I posted a while back (March-ish?) about our bitchy neighbor who complains about Rifle barking. Well, she's back. Only now, we've been introduced, I know it's her, she knows I know it's her, we've agreed that she will call if there are further issues and shame on me for thinking she would do that.

She came to my door last week and said it was the first time in "months" that she's heard him, went on and on about how she came home with a migraine and had to listen to him bark for 2 hours (from 3-5PM...she timed it) and that with her migraine she had to turn on her radio just to drown him out. Because you know, she had to keep her windows open because they have an old house that doesn't have central air or good insulation like our "big beautiful new house" (but she does have an in-ground pool and 8 acres of property...have have no pool and 3 acres, but who's counting).

She asked if we could do anything. I told her we had. We spent $2000 on training, we have a bark collar which I told her I used for one day, but quit because not only do I hate the idea of using it, but I WANT MY DOG TO BARK. I rarely leave him out unless it's a really nice day because he LOVES to be outside. He's a dog, they enjoy the outdoors. Crazy. He's never slept a night outside in his life. In fact, he's hardly ever been outside at night.

We have lots of wildlife that he tends to go nuts over (duh, he's a dog). AND, she and her husband stand on their porch and yell at him. You know, because the strangers yelling from the woods would keep him quiet. Morons.

Our neighbors up front tell us he hardly barks unless there's a reason. Last time she complained, there was a family of deer in our yard. These neighbors also told us that they yell at him from their yard.

We got another letter from the township saying that there's some other nuisance ordinance that we're violating along with the noise one. The lady was very nice and almost apologetic saying some people just have no tolerance and that we just have to try to curtail it. She suggested we leave him inside all the time, which I won't do. I sent her copies of his training papers so she had them for her file to prove we were doing something.

The irony here is that this neighbor works in the office from where the letters are written. She knows the process and that she can complain if she wants. She also knows that the next step (if the township can prove she has a problem, which I don't know how they do) is to take us to court and have us fined. So, I get the feeling that the lady at the township office is trying to pacify a bitchy co-worker. Township lady told me that she had a barking dog issue of her own once and she felt for me. That we have a grumpy neighbor and she knew how that felt. She was just doing her job.

My issue is, what do I do? I've heard from other neighbors that this lady is just a real pain in the ass. She showed up at my door last week asking me to understand, would I like to come over for wine, could we be friends...blah, blah, blah.... and then I get a certified letter. It pisses me off to no end. No one else says anything about what little he barks.

Do I write a letter back to the township and copy her outlining what we've done and the hours he's out and then keep a log of when he's out so I can prove, I don't know, something, if this gets uglier? I'm lost. I hate this. It makes me mad.

Can I call the township about the farmer in back whose cows moo all damn night? I wouldn't because we live in the country and I kind of like it, but holy crap. What the hell am I supposed to do?

I am not good at diplomacy.