No Man is an Island

Unless you're talking about dead babies and infertility. No one really wants to talk about either of those subjects. Not even my husband.

I told my friend B that I was going to see the fertility doctor and I got the big "Well, I hope you get what you're looking for"... What the hell is that supposed to mean? What I'm looking for is another baby, I think I'm looking in the right place. I'm surprised she's acting this way given that she spent seven years trying before she finally conceived naturally...Twice. Maybe she hates fertility doctors because they could never figure out her problem. She's the firat one to say that I should just quit stressing about it because that doesn't make it any better. She of all people should know that comments like that don't help out a whole lot.

Maybe I'm looking for a magic pill, but I think I've been pretty patient given the circumstances. I realize there may not be a magic fix, but I have to try. I've tried charting, I've tried OPK's, the spit scope and I dropped the $300 on the fertility monitor. I just can't figure out what the problem is. This was easier before, I need it to be easy again.

I know I'll never be the same, but I just need something to be the same. I really thought this would be the easy part. Why does all of it have to be hard?? I know that BEING pregnant will be hard. I'm ready for that. I really just don't want to deal with this kind of curve ball. Haven't I had enough? I know the answer to that. I HAVE! I need to get past this part of my life.