Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005


I don't know how I feel today. Certainly overwhelmed with my work stuff. I have a lot to get done before we start on a big job. I plowed through some of my list today, but I have to wait for replies on some of it before it's really all done. I'm feeling a little underwater financially, although we are in much better shape than most of America. I just feel like there are all of these big expenses on the horizon and I'm not really sure how we're going to keep up. I know we'll manage but when I look at the big picture, I feel very small.

Gracie has nearly conquered the potty. I think we have pee under control. Poop is definitely improving, it was a rough start. It's all clicking really well with her. I'm glad that hurdle is behind us. I was starting to worry that she would never really show any interest. It really is true that you have to let them decide when they are ready. She decided and it's been pretty painless.

I haven't charted in over a month. I put the fertility monitor and the thermometer away. I figure I'm paying the doctor enough money, he can keep up with it. I go in Friday for another blood test. Assuming that the level has made it back to zero, I think I'll have to repeat the baseline ultrasound and then start the Follistim. I never expected to have this all work out like it has. I don't know how I feel about the whole miscarriage thing. It was all such a surprise that I just don't know what to do about it. I'm not really upset and I don't really understand why. I was bummed yesterday because part of me really thought Dr. Baby Maker would call me and say "Holy shit Michelle, your levels doubled!" Obviously that didn't happen so I guess we're back where we were and no real worse for the wear.

I'm ready to get this show on the road now...still.


  • At 3:32 PM , Anonymous amber said...


    It'll happen. And soon.

  • At 6:12 PM , Blogger Holly Golightly said...

    I'm sorry you're going through this. Sending hugs and positive vibes your way.

  • At 7:48 PM , Blogger Amanda said...

    I, too, just wanted to say hello and I'm wishing good things for you. Hang in there!

  • At 5:30 AM , Anonymous Meredith C said...

    I just caught up with your journal and all I can say It HAS been a crazy week for you. I'm so sorry that all of this has come your way but, at the same time, I am happy that you've decided to go forward with an injectables IUI. I have a feeling that you're going to produce a big, gorgeous egg (or two or three or four) and end up with a big, gorgeous baby (or two or three...okay, never mind that). In the meantime, though, hugs for the sad news about an early miscarriage.

  • At 3:19 PM , Blogger lauralu said...

    i've posted your questions on my blog. come and get'em!

  • At 1:51 PM , Blogger Anam Cara said...

    I saw your post on Laura & Justin's blog. You wanted a volunteer to interview so here I am! I'm ready for your questions.


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