Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Thursday, June 16, 2005

Where Do I Start?

I saw Dr. Baby Maker this morning so he could tell us what we do now. All the tests are back, so it's time to see what's next. I went in fully expecting him to say we'd do clomid and see you in a month.


My egg production is low and Jim's sperms are deformed. Yep. We're f-ed up. He suggested we do IUI or IVF. It feels so unreal. I never thought I'd be here. I mean, haven't we been through enough? We got robbed of our second child and now, in an effort to try to fill that hole, we're told this is what it will take? WTF.

I don't knwo what to think. I'm pissed. I'm sad. I'm sacred. I just don't know what to think. We have another consult with him on the 24th. We have to make a decsion by then.

I feel like I can't catch my breath.


  • At 4:15 PM , Anonymous Meredith C said...

    Oh, honey, I am so sorry that the news wasn't good. Did you get stats on egg production? Was it based on your FSH level? And what about the sperm morphology? There is a wealth of (mostly okay, I think) information out there that I personally always wanted to read about so that I could feel as though I was approaching these terrible decisions with as large an arsenal of information as possible. But, even if you don't want to have to think about it all, please know that I'm sending hugs. It is so tough to have to sit there as a doctor seems to crush your dreams. But remember, these treatments aren't anybody's dream for getting pregnant, but they can and do work....all the time.

  • At 6:13 PM , Blogger vixanne wigg said...

    Wow. I wish I knew more about all of this! :( I'm just sorry you have to go through this crap. Okay...this sucks, but there are options. I know there are a ton of people out there in blogland who know all about this stuff. Is it better to know than to keep trying and failing? I don't have answer to that one. I just hope things start looking up real soon.

  • At 12:13 AM , Blogger Anam Cara said...

    I am so sorry MB.

  • At 7:10 AM , Anonymous Erin said...

    Are you kidding me? This is so unbelievable. How are they figuring your eggs and Jim's sperm are messed up, all this since last year?! I'm just so surprised and shocked that it's now come to this. I'm so sorry you've been dealt this unexpected hand. I guess I will just keeping hoping that they are wrong and seriously underestimating you. :( I wish there was something, anything, I could do.
    love, Erin

  • At 1:00 PM , Anonymous KB said...

    I'm proud of you, you didn't say fuck once. So I'll say it for you. Fuck. And again.

    You know my thoughts, so I'll just send you support... and BIG HUGS as always (and alcohol, of course. ;) )

  • At 5:46 PM , Anonymous Michelle A said...

    Honey, I am just so sorry.

  • At 3:59 AM , Blogger coffeecrumbles said...

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