Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Monday, August 14, 2006


I've pretty much given up getting pregnant on my own. It just doesn't seem possible after the last two years of nothing and heartbreak. I've started having dreams that I'm seeing the RE again and he eventually tells me that I'll never have another baby; that there's just nothing he can do. It sucks.
Jim is at another interview for the next 2-3 days. This time in Pennsylvania. It's a neat opportunity and a good company. I hope it goes well, but there's another in Sprinfield, MO the following week that I'm really pulling for. here's hoping.
Audrey's second birthday is coming. I'm sad about that, but I have to say it doesn't feel as totally absorbing as it did last year. I don't know what we're doing yet. Something fun with just us probably. Gracie and I will make a cake. I think we will continue the balloon tradition and send some her way. Okay, now it feels very sad(der).
Remember how I had it out with Pampers about them sending me so many reminders about Audrey's progress? Well, I've now started getting them for the baby-that-would-have-been who should have been born around August 1st. I got formula the other day. It sucks. Just when I thought I was done. It never ends. IF I ever get pregnant again, I will NOT sign up for any of the shit that I have in the past. The fall-out is just waaayyyy too painful.
Gracie starts her big girl school on the 28th. I'm so excited for her. We got her uniforms over the weekend (yeah, uniforms, in preschool...who knew). So damn cute I can't stand it. She is going to have a ball.
I hate work. I want to be done. I don't have time for anything. I need to start going to the gym to work on my fatness, but I hate to take what little time I have with my daughter and put her in the Tot Stop at the gym. I just can't do it. I'd take her for walks with me, but it's still hotter than hell here. Ain't happening. So, for now, I am a fat cow. And lemme tell you, it sucks ass.
Brain dump over.


  • At 10:58 AM , Blogger KB said...


    Gets my vote. But then, you knew that already, didn't you?

    You are NOT a fat cow. Trust me.

  • At 11:14 AM , Blogger Alli said...

    I hope the job interview go well - that must be gruelling.

    I can't believe that about Pampers and the formula! Oh my gosh - they must get TONS of complaints about that! They should have a special "STOP IT RIGHT NOW" phone number or something!!!!

    Thinking of you. {{hugs}}

  • At 1:23 PM , Blogger Lizzie said...

    Hi! My name is Liz, I am Laura's (Nate Nate Roller Skate) sister and I happen to stumble on your blog! It is funny you should mention possibly relocating to Springfield because that is where we live! Just wanted to tell you it is a great place to be!

  • At 5:04 PM , Blogger Laura said...

    I agree with Alli, all that Pampers and formula crap is awful and there should totally be a number to stop them immediately. I also didn't think that American Baby would ever stop sending their shitty magazine. There is no way I'm signing up for that crap again. It hurts too much to keep finding it in the mailbox.

    And yeah, what Lizzie said! Springfield is the best!!! Move here!


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