Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Monday, April 11, 2005


Okay, now that the sting of last week has worn off a touch, I can try and attempt a coherent thought without the use of profanity... Or at least, I'll give it a shot.

I am trying really hard to let it go and allow things to happen normally. It's really hard for me to do that since I have such control issues. I may well throw all of that in the toilet during the next two-week-wait. BUT, I will be on vacation for all of it and will get home on the day my period is due to arrive. Maybe being gone and busy will take some of the anxiety away. I hope so... I already have some partial ferning this morning and my period was more "normal" this month, so maybe my body is finally getting a clue. It's possible FF was right last month and I did O in CD10. Who the hell knows.

On another note, I managed to get a bladder infection over the weekend. That sucks. I used to get them all the time, but have gotten it down to about one or two a year now. Dr. M called in some antibiotics for me this morning so hopefully that's over sooner than later. I had to go to the hospital for the lab stuff she sent in, that sucked. It's so awful to go in there knowing that was the last place I saw and help my baby. I had to make a trip to the bathroom and even the soap smell reminded me of all of it. It's amazing what brings back memories for me. Thankfully I didn't have to go to the L&D floor.

We leave for my mom's on Sunday so this week will be super busy trying to get packed and my work stuff organized appropriately. I won't be back until May 3, so entries here will be scarce. Please don't forget about me!

I'm really looking forward to the time away. I haven't really gone anywhere for ages and I really think I just have a bit of cabin fever. Life seems to just be going by and I just can't seem to get back on and go with it. I feel like a spectator in my own life sometimes. I'm excited about having the time to slow down and just be. None of us get to do that often enough.

On a separate note, Vixanne, hang in there. I'm thinking of you...


  • At 7:10 AM , Blogger vixanne wigg said...

    Thanks MB. :) I am so hoping that this is going to be your month so I can switch your link to my "pregnant and adopting" links. (The adopting link is for Karen at The Naked Ovary so she knows that it isn't any "less" of a wonderful thing.)

  • At 5:16 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    I hope that you experience tons of fun and relaxation on your vacation. Your deserve it so very much. God bless you and don't forget about US!

  • At 5:16 PM , Anonymous Amber said...

    Oops... that was me above. ^
    I accidentally hit the enter key.


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