Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

A Prayer

I mean this from the bottom of my heart...

My temps are still up. It's CD 24. I'm dying from the anxiety. Vixanne get her BFP today... I'm so happy for her. (Yay Vixanne!) Honest.

And then, in the same breath, I will be crushed if I don't get mine. I don't really have any symptoms...Real or imagined. It's just so hard not to get my hopes up. I'm not feeling very positive.

Is that self preservation talking? I hope so.


Please, please, please... God, if you're listening, I know I have my moments, but consider this a bonafide prayer... Can we have it this month? Please. I don't want to go and make a bunch of empty promises, I know we don't speak all that often, but this one little thing? Can you help me out? I know you're going to decide the time all on your own, but we're ready. Honest. Gracie wants a brother or sister to love and kiss. Her Daddy and I do too. We miss Audrey like you wouldn't believe (okay, maybe you would) and just really want to try and fill the empty spot in our hearts. Even if it's only a little. We really need to have a happy ending this time.

I've tried to be really strong through this whole ordeal. You decided to take my baby girl. I'm learning to live with that. But, in the interest of fairness, don't we deserve another shot at it? Please, my strength is really starting to wear thin. Please don't make me be strong forever. I just really need a break. Thanks for your consideration...


  • At 2:27 PM , Blogger Bugsy said...

    Hi darls - thanks for the link to your chart. It is looking really good. O is a little hard to detect, but I don't think it was cd10. Since you got ferning cd12 - and a major temp rise on cd16, I would have to say it was somewhere between 12 and 16 (not much help, I am sorry). Wishing you all the best.


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