Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Monday, March 28, 2005

A Tale of Two Sweaters

Last year I bought these two chenille sweaters for the girls to wear at Easter. They were matching pink and so cozy I was dying for them to be worn.

When we lost Audrey, I decided to give B the sweaters for her girls to wear. It was really heart wrenching, but I wanted to do it. I wanted them to have the sweaters and I wanted to see them get worn. It felt right. It was hard, tearful and gut wrenching, but right.

So yesterday they came over...wearing the sweaters. I cried and cried. It was so awful. It didn't change my mind about wanting B's girls to have them, but it was still really hard knowing that my girls should have been wearing them.

I'll try and post some Easter pictures in my next entry. Maybe it will be more positive than these last two were.

3 Comments:

  • At 11:05 PM , Anonymous Michelle A said...

    Hey sweetie, sorry about the sweaters. That must have been bittersweet for you, but mostly hard.

    I miss you over at TLOL! I come over here every few weeks to catch up with ya. I barely have time for TLOL so it's hard for me to write.

    Love ya,
    Michelle A

     
  • At 6:24 AM , Anonymous KB said...

    Awww Michelle, sending hugs your way....

     
  • At 11:28 PM , Anonymous laura said...

    my husband stumbled across your blog and sent me the link. we delivered our stillborn son on the day you started your blog last month. while i haven't experienced the fertility process you have going on, i do fear difficulty conceiving when we do try again, since i'm not exactly a spring chicken. but i definitely relate to your feelings of loss. a hundred times a day, i find myself saying, "i want my son back." i'll be keeping an eye on your progress; if you want to read about ours, we're at http://johannesghost.blogspot.com/. good luck to you

     

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