Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Monday, October 24, 2005

99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall

Nothing exciting yet. Just like a long car ride with little to do but sing horrible car songs. Stopped the pill and the other hormone thingy they had me taking on Friday. Just doing the Lupron injections until Wednesday. I go in then for a baseline and will start the Menopur and Bravelle injections twice a day until they tell me to stop. So, I'll have those injections along with the Lupron I guess until they give me the trigger around the 4th or 5th. Poor pin cushion me. I guess it's good practice since I'll be doing injections of some sort until we have a baby. I'll have to do once a day Heparin while pregnant. Sheesh.

It's weird to still be talking about trying to get pregnant while so many people I know who started trying around when I did have either had their babies or are very close. Doesn't seem fair given that we got pregnant with Audrey and Gracie so easily. I wish I could understand what happened to so dramatically change our situation. There hasn't been a medical explanation yet that totally appeases me. Whatever I guess, all I care about is the end result. It doesn't really matter what it takes to get there.

In other news, my brand new car got rear ended on Saturday. The other driver hit us at about 35 while we were stopped at a stop light. He never even hit his brakes. The best part is that he had no license, no registration and no insurance. So, now I have to deal with insurance companies, body shops and rental cars again. One accident in my whole life and in one year I have 3. F-ing Hell. Things come in threes, can I be done now?

3 Comments:

  • At 2:55 PM , Blogger Julie said...

    Your comment about sudden unexplained infertility rings true for me, but in the opposite way. 13+ years of infertility, then suddenly bam, bam, bam, pregnant three times in three years, no explanation. Now, if this one would just work out!
    Glad you're okay after the accident, that stinks. And in a new car, to boot! Wahhhh!

     
  • At 5:23 PM , Blogger Kathy McC said...

    I am sorry you've had such a bad time. I know what you mean about all your friends having their babies while you're still trying. I have received 4 birth announcements in the mail in the span of two weeks. And here I sit, still empty handed after being pregnant for the better part of a year-and-a-half. Let's hope the tables are going to turn for you very soon. ((hugs))

     
  • At 4:57 AM , Blogger Anam Cara said...

    With the pregnancy stuff, I'm sorry everything got so much more complicated. It really isn't fair.
    And I hope getting your car fixed doesn't doesn't end up being a big headache. What a guy - no license, no registration and no insurance - unbelievable. I am glad you were all OK though.

    With regards to your friend who wants to VBAC at home, I would tell her to focus not so much on the positive "happy" success stories (that is what I did - I read hundreds of them, and I talked to several women who had successful VBACs, even homebirth ones), but really search and read the negative tragic stories, really understand what can go wrong. It might give her some perspective. Then again it might not, because it is impossible to truly understand what living with the death of a baby is like until it happens to you. Had I known I would never have tried to have a VBAC. Your friend should REALLY understand why her previous C-section happened (I wish I had got my medical records from my daughters' birth just to make sure I really understood what happened). The chances are that your friend and her baby will be fine. The chance of having a uterine rupture is less than 1%. But when you are one of the 1% you realize just how great a risk that really is! Think about it - would you fly if there was a 1% chance of your plane crashing?? No way in hell. And there are lots of other things that can go wrong too. VBACing at home you think you can just transfer to hospital if something goes wrong. But many times time is of the essence. I was at home for much of my labor (with two midwives) and will regret that to the day I die. I should have gone to the hospital right away.

    Also tell her to stop reading all those pro-natural birth books and magazines, "Silent Knife" and "Mothering", etc... They just make you feel inadequate and inferior for not delivery vaginally. They are biased to a dangerous degree. It doesn't matter HOW your baby gets in to the world, as long as he/she is safe and alive. THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS. That is what I should have focused on, not the stupid fucking "birth experience".

    If your friend wants to e-mail me she can. I doubt she will want to though. if she is anything likt I was when I was preparing for my son's birth, she may not want to hear any "horror" stories. I know I didn't want anything to ruin my belief in myself and my body, ot take my focus away from the positive. She would probably just think I was a quack!


    if only I could turn back time.

     

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