Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Friday, December 09, 2005


No, I didn't jump off of a bridge or throw myself in front of a train last night. I'm better today. Poor Jim. I unloaded on him a little bit and initially he tried to fight back but I think he finally realized that I was (am) just at the end of my rope and decided to listen and help. He's trying. I need to try too. You all raised very good points about communicating with him.

He isn't a mind reader and it is unfair of me to expect that of him. I preach that as a manager all the time and then, look at me doing it to my poor husband. I do expect him to "get" things that he is probably just incapable of "getting". The real problem is that I am a shit communicator. I always have been. If it's my problem, then it's my problem and I will deal with it. I start there and then end up pissed at him for not helping. Totally unfair. I'm just not good at dealing with hard stuff.

Today's better partly because I haven't had my daily screaming session with my boss. Although, I suppose it's early and we could still have one of those. I shouldn't speak too soon. But, it's Friday, maybe he's decided I've had enough for one week. One can only hope...

So, I'm glad it's the weekend. I'm exhausted. Physically, emotionally, all of it. I am spent.

I do need a vacation. We have a trip planned to the Hotel Colorado in Glenwood Springs, Colorado during the week between New Year's & Christmas. That's very exciting. Lovely, historic, grand hotel and fabulous hot springs to lounge in while watching the snow fall. Heaven.


  • At 1:46 PM , Anonymous RACH said...

    Good! YOU NEED IT! Will Ms. Grace go along?

  • At 2:04 PM , Blogger formerteacher said...

    Glad to hear that you and Jim talked last night, and that you are feeling a bit better.

    Can I come with you on your vacation? I promise you won't even know I'm there!

    Seriously though, I'm glad you're feeling better.

  • At 5:20 AM , Blogger gabesmama said...

    That sounds wonderful. I once went to hot springs in Colorado and loved it.

  • At 9:53 AM , Blogger Catherine said...

    oooh! That sounds lovely!

    Glad you talked to your hubster and things are a bit better. {{{hugs}}}

  • At 2:49 PM , Anonymous kati said...

    it's good to hear that you're doing a little bit better and that you had a more productive talk with your husband. You've had a really rough time, I'm glad you will be able to take some time off.

  • At 4:26 PM , Blogger Kathy McC said...

    (((hugs))) SO so sorry you've been going through such a rough time. Glad things are better and hope the vacation helps.

  • At 7:55 PM , Blogger Jill said...

    Just checking in to make sure you are ok - you've been quiet lately. I hope things are as ok as possible for you:)


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