Beware...Mommy rant.

Why do I do this to myself?

Gracie starts pre-school in the fall and I am very excited. It's a great school and a really great opportunity for her to learn, make friends and generally have experiences and an education that her dad and I never had. I'm so excited for her.

But...There is some disagreement between my friends (read: other moms I know) about what our three year olds should be doing at this point in their lives. Gracie has swimming lessons twice a week. She loves, loves, loves them. She's such a little fish. Since we have a pool, my biggest concern was safety, so I wanted her to learn early. I loved at the beach at her age and was in the ocean at 6 weeks, it's part of my culture. She also has an art class once a week. I'm cool with just that. The classes are through the rec center and are very in expensive, they teach what I think she should learn at this point and I'm good with that. She stays with a friend of mine during the day while I work. She gets to go hang out with the same playgroup once a week that I used to take her to when I worked from home, so she gets a little socialization there. It's all good. I'm cool. Oh, and she's about to join a 3-4 year-old T-Ball league because I want her to have the experience with team sports that I never had. Well, that and I think it will be really cute seeing a bunch of 3-4 year-olds trying to play T-Ball.

She speaks very clearly for her age. She uses whole sentences and uses (mostly) correct grammar and context. You can totally understand every word. She knows the words to any kids' song you can come up with, she has memorized parts of all of her favorite movies and can tell you what they are all about and what's going to happen. She knows her ABC's and can recognize most of the letters. She can count to 15 pretty consistently. I'm so proud of her.

So why do I keep comparing her to other kids? Why do I keep comparing what I have planned for her with what other parents are doing? It makes me feel stupid when I get irritated at my friend for putting her 3 year-old in horseback riding. Why? Because what the hell is a 3 year-old going to get out of it besides the opportunity to ride in a walking circle on a horse for a half an hour? Seems pointless to me to do something like that until a kid can really learn what it's like and what it means to have a horse. It's not about just riding. It's about feeding them and mucking stalls and exercising them and just generally caring for an animal that requires so much work.

I get irritated when I hear moms talk about not putting their kid in pre-school in the fall because they are going to put them in a kindergarten that they know will not challenge them academically so they don't wan t their kid getting too far ahead and be burned out too early. Seriously? Do people not value academics anymore? It makes me insane. I know you don't have to put your kid in pre-school. I know that. But don't tell me you're not doing it and then offer up such a completely lame reason.

And then...I wonder if I'm doing it wrong. I am making choices for my daughter that will affect her whole life. What if I make bad choices? Why am I so judgmental about what other moms are doing? I try not to be judgmental, I really do. But, I still catch myself getting irritated when I think someone is being dumb.

God help me.