Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Boring Blog

Man, has it gotten boring over here. Sorry about that.

I'm feeling a little lost and emotional. I've heard from other women after going through IF, that when you do get pregnant, you feel a little like you suddenly don't fit anywhere. I get that now. I find I don't really know what to say a lot of the time.

I'm still a little reluctant to get really attached to this pregnancy. It all feels very surreal still. I don't really look pregnant (10 weeks, duh), just bloated and fat. I feel pukey and tired, but not the good pregnant when your belly grows and you get to feel the kicks and rolls. Delivery is too far away to get excited about. It's like, so what now?

I've been occasionally allowing myself to look at cribs and bedding and baby stuff. Which reminds me...tell me if this would piss any of you off the way it has me.

When we moved, one of our neighbors' daughter was pregnant. She's had issues, she has no money, her parents have and always will support her at some level. Jim & I decided when we knew we were moving, that instead of carting the nursery furniture and highchair, etc, that we would find some one who needed it. So, we thought of her.

When we moved, we left the furniture, glider, highchair, bouncy seat, saucer, bathtub...tons of other stuff. Her mom is our real estate agent, so she has a key. They were to come pick it all up when I was gone. It was really hard for me. Harder than I thought. By a mile.

It was hard to give it all away, it was hard to see her room all empty and disheveled, we agonized over the decision in the first place. The whole thing was necessary, but absolutely painful. I had not ever gone through Audrey's things. It was all almost as it was when I came home from the hospital.

So here's what pisses me off...

She has never said so much as thank you. No call, no card, no nothing. And, it makes me really mad. It makes me regret that we didn't just give it all to the women's shelter. At least we know someone there would have been grateful.

Am I wrong?

So, as I was saying... Sorry about the boring drivel. I'll try to be better.


  • At 9:24 AM , Blogger niobe said...

    It would sooo annoy me.

    But.... not to excuse her extreme rudeness, is she aware that you lost a child? Some people have this bizarre idea that it's better not to say anything baby-related to grieving parents for fear that it will somehow "remind" them of the loss. (as if you could ever forget).

    Anyway. You're right. She's wrong.

    Hope you feel better.

  • At 9:56 AM , Blogger A place to call my own said...

    I agree with niobe.
    She is wrong and you are right, at least a quick thank you card would have been nice. Just to acknowledge her thankfulness.

    I hope you feel better too.

    Love & light,

  • At 11:10 AM , Blogger Kathy McC said...

    That's pretty excuse. Just rude. (((hugs)))

  • At 11:57 AM , Blogger Amy said...

    Personally I have found that a lot of people don't bother to write a thank you note -- not even an e-mail one. I was taught to write notes and I will teach my kids to write them too. You deserve a big thank you at least from the real estate agent mom and preferrably from the daughter that got everything. How rude of them both.

  • At 11:45 PM , Blogger Rosepetal said...

    I agree with Amy, I often find people don't say thank you in a situation where I would have offered profuse thanks. It is aggravating.

  • At 1:23 AM , Blogger Ruby said...

    That's just rude. I would be upset too.

  • At 8:46 PM , Blogger formerteacher said...

    I felt the same way about not fitting in when I got pregnant. My infertile friends, while happy for me, didn't seem to want to be around me, and my fertile friends didn't understand why I couldn't get excited already. I felt like I was in the middle of nowhere.

    On the nursery furniture? Hell yah I'd be pissed off. Could you inquire about whether it's worked out for her or something? That is just so rude! I cannot even comprehend it! What an idiot.


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