Back to Our Regularly Scheduled Program

So, my mom & dad are moving to Malaysia. Dad got a big promotion and will be working on a project there for 5 years. Bittersweet for all of us. It's a BIG promotion which means more money. They ill live in a company compound there and will have no living expenses, they are all covered by the company. Puts them in a really good position for retirement, but means that all vacations for the next few years will be there. I guess there are worse places in the world. He was up for one job that was in (I kid you not) Siberia. Ack.

I decided to skip the pregnant therapist. There is a woman she recommended in the same practice. I'll start out seeing her instead. I'm excited. Really. Seems strange to be excited, but I just have all of these things I feel like I want to talk about and try to understand. I need someone to tell me I'm normal and what I've got going on doesn't make me crazy. I have wondered recently if maybe I'm depressed. It seems unlikely, but I find myself being angry a lot. Not sad so much, although that is there too. I just wonder if depression can take different forms. I certainly don't find the happy times like I used to. I just don't feel like a really happy person anymore. The happy times I do find are very forced and unnatural. I can't really explain it, but I just don't feel alive like I used to.

Maybe I just need an outlet. I do use this blog, but I don't really get into things the way I should. Not with friends or my husband. It just doesn't feel comfortable. I know I should be able to, but I've always felt like I would be burdening someone else with my shit by talking with them, so the best I can make myself do are bits and pieces here and there. I just don't seem to get anything resolved. My unhappiness makes my husband unhappy and then I get cranky and then he gets cranky... You see where this is going? Yeah, nowhere.

I watched the thing on Dateline last night about that 57 year old woman who had the twins. It was like watching a train wreck. It alternately excited me and made me want to puke. She kept saying that you had to rid yourself of the negativity and let go of any preconceived notions before you could make progress. Duh. I knew that. I know that. It was sort of a smack in the face.

So, 2006 is a new year. A better year.

Oh, for the finale in 2005...we got rear ended again. Thankfully Jim was driving AND the woman has insurance. 5 rear-ends in one year. That has to be some sort of record, right?