Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005


The therapist is pregnant. Can I deal with this?


  • At 4:25 PM , Blogger Lorem ipsum said...

    Find another therapist. You still have time.

    A man might be a good choice - can't get pregnant and knows it, and so is extra unlikely to compare his own experiences with yours, even silently.

  • At 7:13 PM , Blogger formerteacher said...

    I would have to agree with lorem; find another therapist before you start working with this one. That way you have no attachment. I, personally, have only worked with women and felt they could better relate to what I had been through than a man. Just my experience. I have seen two therapists. I love the one I am seeing now. SHe specializes in women's issues, as well as grief. I like that. I guess many womens' issues can cause grief. Anyway,I can tell you my current therapist has helped me so much. I think you're doing the right thing.

    As for the issues between your husband and you, you seem to be doing what I did after my losses. First being pissed because he's not hurting as much as you, then wanting him to fix everything--oh I am with you on that one, and then blaming yourself. It's no one's fault, Michelle. You are being much too hard on yourself. Sometimes it would be nice for our husbands to try a bit harder. Sometimes we are so grief-stricken and full of hormones, etc. that we can't be 'like ourselves'. That's life. Until men can carry babies, I don't think they'll ever get it. I am not trying to male-bash here; it's just the truth. Keep talking to each other. Go to therapy, be open to the fact that it will take time. The vacation that you're going on is an excellent idea. I just needed to 'get way' from life, and when we went away for the weekend after one of our losses, it did help. Course, we both had a bit too much to drink, which we both rarely do, but at that point whatever made me feel better; I didn't care.
    You are dealing with a lot. Do not be so hard on yourself. You have had one hell of a bad year, but you are taking the steps toward getting better, and that is a hard thing to do, and you're doing it. Kudos to you!!!

  • At 8:43 PM , Anonymous kati said...

    I also agree with previous posts. I know that I wouldn't be able to deal with a pregnant therapist. Hope you find a good match soon.

  • At 3:42 AM , Blogger Jill said...

    You owe this person nothing. Why rub salt in your wounds? Go find another person to see. Good luck:)

  • At 4:23 AM , Anonymous anissa said...

    I am so happy that you are going for help to deal with all of this. I myself would find a new therapist. There is no way I would have been able to talk with somebody pregnant about my hole ordeal.

    And good for you and Jim to also be getting help togeather. I think this will be great for both of you. I just wish my husband would be open to something like this. I think we need to talk to somebody but her won't and says he is fine.

    The best of luck to you and your family. You are always in my thoughts.

  • At 12:55 PM , Anonymous rach said...

    My vote is to find another one. You really don't need to see her ever-expanding belly right now.


  • At 3:41 PM , Anonymous Meredith C said...

    No. Well, I couldn't. Maybe you can, but I think that I'd be looking again.

  • At 3:52 PM , Blogger Kathy McC said...

    I agree with the others...get another therapist. You wouldn't be able to get past her expanding belly to talk to her. (((hugs)))


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