Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Thursday, September 14, 2006

It's Fall

In my life, if there was a time when things were going to change, it was in the fall. Every major (read: mostly bad; all dramatic) thing that has happened in my (mostly) adult life has happened in the fall. My birthday is October 15, so many of my birthdays have been tarnished by some upheaval.


October 1990 - The first boy that I really liked cheats on me. I am heartbroken.
October 1993 - I get engaged
October 1994 - I get married
October 1995 - Discover (rather, realize) husband is a major asshole and separate. We file for divorce before our first anniversary.
October 1995 - Sign lease on an apartment that is my first place of my own...way over my head and financially stupid.
November 1995 - Get fired from job.
November 1996
- Get laid off. (move to Texas right after Christmas)
September 1997 - Hate Texas job (love Texas), quit and move back to California (move in with boyfriend...also an asshole)
October 1998 - Move out of boyfriend's house...move in with a friend.
November 1998 - Move back in with asshole.
October 1999 - Move out again.
November 2000 - Finally break up with the asshole for good...not easy, but totally the best thing ever.
November 2001 - Move to Las Vegas with (finally) a nice guy (love you honey)
2002 - Got a break
September 2003 - Move to new house. Move is a disaster and 90% of our furniture is totally destroyed. Lawsuit with moving company ensues and takes over a year to resolve.
September 2004 - WORST DAY daughter is dead.
November 2005 - First IVF...ends in ectopic/miscarriage at the end of November.

Enter fall 2006...

My husband is still technically unemployed. We are hoping for the job in Pennsylvania. If my 'luck' holds, there is a move in our future. The very near future. Well, there's the new round of IVF too...maybe I should move it to Spring...nah...why break precident.

What the hell is it with this time of the year? Why is this always the hardest season for me??


  • At 9:26 PM , Blogger kati said...

    Michelle, thanks so much for your comment on my blog.

    And I'm so sorry about Audrey's 2-year birthday anniversary. She should be with you guys to celebrate it. It's just so sad.

    My grandmother lost her first child (he was 5) on May 8, and gave birth to my aunt three years later on the same day. I always wondered whether it made the day easier for her? At least, I hope so.

    I also hope that this fall is going to break your pattern. It's about time.

  • At 4:44 AM , Blogger Rosepetal said...

    I have been lurking on your blog. I'm so sorry that Audrey isn't with you and I wish you peace for tomorrow.

  • At 2:20 PM , Blogger formerteacher said...

    I have a time of the year that is like that too. It's weird, isn't it?
    Maybe this fall will give you another break! You sure deserve it!


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