Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Coming up for air

5 days already. I can't believe it's been 5 days. SHE'S HERE PEOPLE! Can you believe it? I know, me either.

Thank you KB for your posts. I didn't want to keep you all in suspense about Natalie's (safe) arrival. Your well-wishes have been recieved, and I am ever so grateful. There are really no words.

I have posts swirling in my head. I need to explain the day. I need to tell you all how she is now. I can't now, but I will, I promise. Suffice it to say, there are good outcomes guys. There really are.

Fow now, a picture of Gracie and her little sister Natalie... And, one from the Horse Show on the 23rd (which she took 5th place in!).

Saturday, September 22, 2007

sharing her photo!!

I'm going to assume Michelle is okay with me posting these here on her blog.... ;) But I have to say Natalie is just too beautiful to make you all wait until they come home!!

There are more, but I think I will leave those for the proud momma to post when she has time. I'm not sure when they are home from the hospital, but judging from the pictures, big sister Gracie is thrilled.
I don't know about the rest of you, but I can't wait to hear what the crazy canines think of this newest addition!!!

Friday, September 21, 2007

She's here!!!

Michelle has asked me to share with you all that Natalie Rose has arrived safe and sound!! Weighing in at 6lbs 12oz and measuring 19.5" long, she made her debut at 14:09 this afternoon. Her daddy's email reports "She has beautiful blue eyes and very light blonde hair. Natalie and Michelle are both excellent and Natalie looks very much like Gracie did on her Birthday."


Thursday, September 20, 2007

Emma's Mum

Can I come to the party at your place? I keep meaning to ask... Pretty please? (Sorry to post it that way, but I couldn't figure out another way to get to you)

All Set

Nat got her eviction notice.

Amnio went fine. More anxiety than it was worth. But, I knew that. She's all ready. Now, we wait until 1:00 tomorrow...

Thanks for all of your well-wishes. I'll take all the good thoughts I can get.

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Lock and Load

The room is ready. Bags are packed. Closets have been organized. Car seat is ready. We even bought diapers. And, curtains have (finally) been hung. It's done. We're set.

Amnio is tomorrow at 8:30. We'll know by noon whether her lungs are ready. We don't expect that answer to be no, but there is always a possibility we will be put off a week. I hope that doesn't happen because I will surly lose my mind. I'm still the most nervous about this.

C-section is set for 1:00 on Friday. I know what that's about, I know what to expect there. Bring it on.

You know what? I'm finally thinking this might just happen.

Sunday, September 16, 2007


Happy Bithday, Audrey. We miss you so much. I know we've been distracted with your sister's arrival, but please know that we think of you every minute and wish you were here with us. We're going to the old cemetary today to bring flowers to the babies who don't get flowers anymore; the babies whose mommies and daddies went with them to heaven a long, long time ago. Grammie made your quilts and gave them to the babies at the Chinese orhanage where she lives now. I have the pictures, they are very pretty and fun. We're also sending you your balloons and Gracie will be making you cupcakes.

I love you so, so much.


Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Threaten me with a good time.

I have my pre-op appointment at the hospital today. So, I'm being a good girl and filling out forms. No biggie 'til I get to question three:

Is there a possibility that you might be pregnant...yes or no?

Followed by:

A "yes" answer will result in a pregnancy test.

Are you people serious? I mean, you could do the blood test, but I could save us all the trouble...

We'll see how far they actually take that little gem.

PS. I'm doing laundry. Of baby clothes. New clothes that I actually took the tags off of. Proud of me?

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Slip(s) of the Tongue

I keep saying "Audrey" when I'm really referring to "Natalie". I do it when I talk about her room and when I talk about her. I keep catching myself. It makes me feel guilty. Guilty for the obvious reason; they are not the same and should have their own identity. But, also guilty because it's not fair to either of them.

I know most mothers do this when they are yelling for their kids. You say "Billy" when you mean "Bobby" and get them confused when you're flustered. I get that. My grandmother used to get upset with my brother and call him by my dad's name. It used to make me laugh. I know Jim's mom used to run through all four boys' names until she got to the right one. Hell, I bet Momma Duggar does it hourly.

This feels different. This feels like I am slighting both of them. Like the whole "replacement child" thing that bugs me so much. I know one is not a replacement for the other, but it sure does sound like that when I confuse them.

The contractions continue. I almost don't notice them a lot of the time. I suppose I should consider at least packing my hospital bag, but I haven't done much more than consider it. The OB did say at one point that if we got to this point and things started to get sketchy (cervical change or a decrease in fetal movement) that there would be no chances taken. At this point, she'd be safer out here then she would in there if the wheels started to fall off the wagon. I guess we'll see at the NST tomorrow. Maybe that bag will get packed on Thursday.

Gracie starts school tomorrow. She's sooo excited. We did go buy school clothes, but not a lot she can wear while it's still warm. I put her in for 3 days a week, but she informed me she doesn't want days off. She wants to go everyday. I might bump her to 4 days and keep her out on Fridays. We'll see how this week goes I guess. I'm so lucky that she loves it so much. She's such a good girl.

Oh! She gets to be in her first horse show on the 23rd! I'll still be in the hospital and I'm so bummed I'll miss it, but daddy's going to take her. I'm excited that amid all the baby excitement that she'll have something just for her that daddy gets to take her to. Doubly special. I hope she wins a ribbon! She got to trot for the first time yesterday and you'd have thought she won the lottery just doing that. Ah, the excitement of youth, eh?!

Hey, guess what? Still nothing on the Vegas house. We sure would like the idiots on TV to quit talking so negatively about the prospects for the real estate market. It'd be really great if Bernanke does lower those interest rates. I'd love to get out from under that. We've been sitting on it almost a year now. It sucks.