Discovering Me

Me on having babies, losing babies, trying to have babies and hoping to bring this one home.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Nothing's Easy

Still have 10 nice follies. We trigger tonight and retrieve on Wednesday.


No transfer this cycle. Dr. BM was already playing any possible transfer by ear but for the last 3 visits I've had a funky fluid collection in the old ute. Nothing crazy, I guess it happens sometimes. What it means though is for sure no transfer. We move on to a frozen cycle.


We were planning on being in Minnesota for Thanksgiving. I don't want to change that plan and if we went straight into a frozen cycle from here, we would certainly have to cancel that trip. I could wait and go on the pill and delay for two weeks, but that would put us into our move schedule and that is just more stress than I want.


I think we are going to stop after the transfer, have our holidays and get our move done. We'll shoot for coming back to Vegas for a transfer in January. We can stay here with friends for a few days and just so this when we are in a better frame of mind with less on our plates.

Why is life always so complicated?

Friday, October 27, 2006

Bigger IS better!

Well, they keep getting bigger.

12 follies measuring 10-19. 8 more just hanging out. Probably too late for them, but I'll take the 12. Go back again on Sunday, so hopefully we will retrieve on Wednesday. Estimate was Tuesday, but Gracie has her Halloween party that day and I don't want to miss it. Obviously I will if I have to though.

Mom comes in on Saturday. My last day of work is the 10th.

Today is a State holiday. I forgot. Guess what it means? No school. Guess who tried to bring their kid to school this morning and was very confused?

Yeah. Me.

Poor Gracie.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Drumroll Please...

18 follicles. EIGHTEEN!!!!

And they are mine! Who knew!

9 are measuring 11-15, rest are smaller but still have plenty of time to grow.

Friday, October 20, 2006


I have been worried for the last two days that my period hadn't started and my lining would be all f-ed up and the cycle would then get f-ed up. I got to the RE this morning and was all prepared to deal with whatever no period meant. That's when the cramps started and I began to get hopeful that the old ute was just getting a late start.

Got undressed to wait for the doc and sit my bare ass on the table. Talk to Jim for a few minutes and realize I'm getting wet. Yup, started on the fricking table. Nice, huh? I tried to keep it cool so as not to gross out my poor husband (who incidentally, had already almost fainted when they drew a measily two vials of blood...weenie boy).

Nurse comes in followed by a new doc. A female doc. I have no problem with that, but it would have been nice to be prepared. We'll call her Dr. Cutie Pie from here on out... Anyway, so she gets the wand out and asks if I started my period. Um yes, just now. Shoves it in and realizes that there's not enough goo and has to pull it out and redo the contraption. Which was, you know pretty with all the blood. Jim turned white.

So, drumroll...

Everything looks great. 8 follicles on the right and 5 on the left. Way better that what we started with last time. I'm very relieved. Blood work was good too, so I start stims tonight. 150 units of Gonal F, 3 of Menopur and 100 mg of Clomid. Yow.

In a few days, you can just call me pizza face. Anyone have any magic acne cures? I already use Proactiv, but I'm thinking that I may need an addition to my arsenal.

Here we go...

Monday, October 16, 2006

And so it begins

Took my last bcp yesterday. Baseline Friday. we go.

I realized the other day that Jim won't be here for this whole process. Yeah, I know, I knew that. I mean, he's had to go donate his portion for freezing already, it's no surprise he won't be around. But, I put it all together and realized that meant he won't be here to take me for the retrieval, which requires anethesia, so I need a ride home. He won't be here for a transfer, and I need a ride home and 3 days on my back...and someone to keep the house clean in case of showings...and take care of my daughter and get her to school...

So, I had to call mom.

Oh, incidentally, the mom who forgot about my birthday and feels horribly, awfully bad. Teehee...I'm letting her. I could really care less, I think it's kind of funny.

Anyway, having to put mom on an emergency plane to Vegas for a few weeks... She may even stay through Thanksgiving because my dad may be making an extended trip to Malaysia. So, it may all work out fine.

She eases her mommy-guilt and I can get on with the babymaking.

Friday, October 13, 2006

You know, cuz we needed this too...

I don't remember if I mentioned this or not, but Jim decided a couple of weeks ago that in between getting our house ready to sell, starting our IVF cycle, buying the new house and getting him ready to start this job, that we had time to have his 4 - 21 year-old nephews come visit. For four days.

You know, because we not only have that kind of time, but that kind of money (We paid for their airfare and have been buying food. No small feat I tell ya...). Oh and our house is officially on the market and their shit is everywhere. but, Jim was just so excited that they wanted to visit that he lost his head and said "SURE!" when they asked.

I like them. I do. They are great kids. Really. But the timing just sucks ass.

It gets better.

One of them called on his way in and asked if he could see a doctor while he's here because he has a huge boil on his crack that needed to be lanced. Huge? How about the size of a golfball. So icky. Jim spent the morning at the doctor with him getting that taken care of...

It gets better than that.

They went down to the Strip last night and took our car. You know, the one that was supposed to go on a transport truck next week to go to Pennsylvania for Jim to drive while he's there...

Yeah, that one.

They wrecked it last night.

Nice, huh?

And it's not really their fault. They got lost. Ended up hitting a ginormous pot hole (so they say) and blew out both passenger side tires, probably ruined both wheels and likely screwed the suspension on that side.

Did I mention I'm tired? Oh, and broke.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Gracie's World

Conversation with Gracie before bed last night:

Her: Mommy, I don't want to get old. I want to be special.

Me: Honey, you have a very long time before you are old and you will always be special.

Her: And you are old.

Thanks kid. Thanks a lot. I wasn't sweating my birthday on the 15th, but now, yeah... Thanks a lot.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006


Sorry guys, my posts suck these days. My creativity (ha! as if I ever had any!) is being sucked up by getting the house ready for sale (Broker's open house tomorrow) and trying to interview and hire my replacement (nice, huh?).

So, yeah, I apologize in advance for the sporadic, sucky posts. I am keeping up with you all, because, well, I'm an addict and I must.

I'll catch up soon. Promise.

Thursday, October 05, 2006


On the consult...

I've been on BCP for 3 weeks and will continue until the 15th. Get period and then will start clomid on day 5, Gonal F and Menopur after that. Don't know when I'll get the Antagon, but it sounds like they are waiting to see if it's going to be necessary.

Retrieval is tenetative for around the 25th-30th. Transfer possibly around the 3rd assuming he doesn't freeze everything and transfer later if my estrogen levels are high again. He is speculating that the ectopic last year could have happened because of a cranky ute. Cranky ute can be a result of high estrogen.

So, we play all that a little by ear. I won't lie and say that I wouldn't be bummed if we had to transfer down the road. With the move and all it could get even more complicated.

Eh, we'll have to see. If the result is potentially better, then I guess it's all worth it.


Tuesday, October 03, 2006

So yeah, we're moving. It seems a little more real now. We made an offer on a house today. Minorly scary since the one here isn't even FOR SALE yet. Details people. My husband says don't worry about it.

I'm worried.

It's weird. I know we're leaving. Work knows we're leaving. Jim knows when he starts work and it's coming up very soon. He will be gone. You know, to the place he will work. It's really far from here and that part sucks quite a lot. You do what you gotta do, right?

I have to go today for my IVF consult. Get all the meds and schedules lined out. Oh, and the cost. THE COST! Holy Cow, the cost. The best part is that my lovely husband will likely be in another state while all this is going on, so Dr. Baby Maker has asked that he give a few "samples" for freezing.

HA! Who knew you could get pregnant while your husband was on the other side of the damn continent! Cracks me the hell up.

I have a ton to do. House will go on the market next week, so there will be some packing going on this weekend. We have a lot of crap people. A lot of crap. None of which can be tossed mind you, so we will pay to store the crap just so we can move said crap across the country and store it in our basement. Makes sense...not.

Wow, a basement. Basements are so damn cool!

Anyway, lots going on here and I really have no time for working. Working is a real pain in the ass.